Aidan's new best friend - the card

Boys don't usually send cards for birthdays and events so we were very surprised when we got one from our friend JB. We were so surprised I thought I'd print it.

For your information John James is a friend of ours (You might know him as The Dirty John James), Martin O' Neil is a football manager and JB's hair is not receding.

Here it is...

Dear Aidan John,

Welcome to the world!

You don't know me yet but I have been a big influence in the lives of your parents for some time now. In fact I like to think that they see me as a mentor, sage or a visionary.

I wanted to be one of the first people to say hello and I thought I'd give you a few life lessons as you begin your journey as a Waller.

So here's my guide to life - the lessons which have got me where I am today - 28, thin, unfailingly attractive to women and with a full head of hair (anyone who tells you it's receding is a liar!!)

Lesson 1 - Never trust someone whose surname is also a first name - Ainsley Harriott, Clive Allen or John James.
Lesson 2 - If you ignore a problem for long enough, it'll go away.
Lesson 3 - Martin O' Neil is a lord among men.
Lesson 4 - Shed Seven are a good band.
Lesson 5 - If it aint broke try harder to break it.
Lesson 6 - Don't believe anyone who tells you your hair is receding.
Lesson 7 - Bad handwriting is a sign of intelligence.
Lesson 8 - Never trust John James.

So there you have it. Take heed of those nuggets and you'll be fine...

Can't wait to meet you.

John

PS great middle name by the way.

We laughed. Hope you did too.

Oh, I forgot to explain Shed Seven, but they are a 90's indy band who are pretty bad.