Names: inspiration from the greats

Erin and I went to the Tate Britain last night on a date. At the entrance is a stand containing leaflets with titles which pick out certain paintings to create certain moods. There is The First Date Tour, The Greatest Hits Tour, and among others The baby Names Tour, which I'll come back to later. We chose the I Want to be Swept Off My Feet Tour and set off to see Turner's Sunset, Lannelli's Contemplation and Richard Smiths' Vista.  Unfortunately this tour was spread out  a little illogically around the gallery so we gave up and made our own way around.

Also Martin Creed Curates was on too. This saw runners running every 30 seconds down the main hall in the Tate.  Fun and weird.  And a bit dangerous too with all those airy-fairy-arty types mooching around.

Anyway here's what the guide says from The Baby Names Tour.  I'm not sure how inspiring it is...

You've examined the closing credits of your DVD collection, thumbed through countless baby names books and that precious little wide-eyed lump staring up at you is still without a name. Don't worry, your dilemma may be easily solved by following this collection.

Chances are you're overthinking it.  keeping things simple is often the way to go. For instance, walk around our gallery and you'll come across 17 overachieving Johns, and some splendid Marys. Then again, you may prefer something more exotic.  Consider the name of the artist who painted Covent Garden market, Balthazar Nebot.

Or perhaps Oriana, a young woman immortalised by Frederick Sandys.

If you're still a bit stuck, try making a choice based on matching your newborn's personality with that of a work of art.  For instance, an attention seeking child could be named after Marcus Gheeraerts II's Thomas lee, the only portrait in the gallery without trousers.

Perhaps your child is the more thoughtful type. In which case think about naming it after the bookish Sir Brooke Boothby by Joseph Wright of Derby.

If strangers stop to admire your little one , you probably have a genuinely adorable baby. In which case you may like to choose a name of someone who was also adorable, like Dame Gabriel Rossetti's Proserpine or Thomas Gainsborough's Giovanna Baccelli.

Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up about it, we have 975 works that are still untitled so we've got much the same problem.

Oriana Giovanna or Balthazar Brooke Waller anyone?

A distant chance of naming the baby after a distant relative

Erin's dad, Bud, has just sent us an email with two name ideas for boys.

His family has a distant connection to England in the baby's great-great-grandfather who was called Orville. So he's put this name up for proposal, as well as his last name, Tyler.

Erin's brother's middle name is Tyler so we would have to ask uncle Seth if he wouldn't mind, which incidently, Erin and I have considered.  

As for Orville, who Bud did follow up saying that he should be a pilot or at least design planes. I have my concerns.  British people will know exactly what I mean when I sing - altogether now:

I wish I could fly

right upto the sky

but I can't

You can

I can't

Orville was a ventriloquist's puppet duck from a dubious comic in the 1980s. Actually, here's the song.

Tyler, maybe. But no to Orville for our child, I'm afraid.

But, I ask Bud, what about if she's a girl? 

What's in a name?

In our search of names we've scoured lists and books, and our imaginations to think of something perfect for our little boy or girl.  We're still not going to tell you any of our choices, especially after our first lesson in pregnancy - scroll down to the bit about Erin's mum.  But here is a bit of inspiration to our eventually answer.

Top ten baby names in UK in 2007:

1 Jack      

2 Thomas

3 Oliver

4 Joshua

5 Harry

6 Charlie

7 Daniel

8 William

9 James

10 Alfie

1 Grace

2 Ruby

3 Olivia

4 Emily

5 Jessica

6 Sophie

7 Chloe

8 Lily

9 Ella

10 Amilia

Boring. Or our friends and family have snagged them already.

And in the US:

1 Jacob 

2 Michael

3 Joshua

4 Ethan

5 Matthew

6 Daniel

7 Christopher 

8 Andrew

9 Anthony

10 William 

1 Emily

2 Emma

3 Madison

4 Isabella

5 Ava

6 Abigail

7 Olivia

8 Hannah

9 Sophia

10 Samantha

As bad.

If you want to check out when names have been popular, click on this. It's very entertaining. Hours, if not more than a century, of fun, in fact. 

Here's something else from the same author, she also wrote this.  Can you think of any more names that would be great if they weren't words already?  I have a theory - and this is not for the faint of heart - that some STIs and diseases would make great posh English names if they weren't STIs or diseases.  Try shouting Clamydia or Diarrhea in a British home counties accent. It works perfectly.  And they could be shortened to Clammy and Dee, or possibly Rea.

You can also find out the meaning of names to help with inspiration.  

I'm getting carried away, I was just about to write our top ten list of names.  But Erin says no. So I won't.

Made in China

Technically the baby wasn't made in China but like most goods these days it might as well contain the country's kite mark.

For those who don't know, Erin and I met in the middle kingdom and it has had quite an effect on our relationship and friendships.

One of these friendships we hold dear to us is with Joy (Zhang Jun) our Chinese language teacher in Cardiff.  Our lessons would usually turn from getting the correct stroke order of the characters to discussions about life (mainly in English), and since we left we've kept in touch as much as we can.  

When we called Joy to tell her that we're pregnant she said she would think of a Chinese name for the child.

She must have been excited about our news as when she got off the phone she put all her attention into the task.  When we visited her the other weekend she gave us a piece of paper with a few ideas on it.  She put our Chinese names together and came up with... Ai Jie. 

It means love and understanding. Erin's part is the love and mine the understanding.  I actually didn't know my name meant understanding, which doesn't bode well does it?  That said, we love it.  It's also gender neutral.  Pity we can't find a western name.

Erin throws a few out every now and again.  But we still haven't found a solid favourite.  So we might be using the Chinese one for the first few months.  Thank you, Chinese Godmother, Joy.

Text your name

I got a text on Thursday from Fred saying: 'Another name for you to consider. Paul.  Think about it.'

I don't think so.

Later on that evening Chris sent one saying: 'Off The Waller? or Berlin Waller?'

Random but brought a smile.  And nice to know that conversations can continue long after they started.

I don't think there are any more puns on my name.  And Fred seems to think Off The Waller was mentioned last Saturday. If there are any more we don't mind hearing them if you don't mind not being taken very seriously.

Names, names, and more names

On Saturday night we went out for our Friend Fred's birthday.

We met up with Fred and Caroline to go to the Royal College of Surgeons before we ate. Now, I know I'm trying to lose a bit of weight but there was no need to completely put me off my food. The College museum basically houses a collection, mainly put together by John Hunter in the 1700s.  It contains exhibits from a star fish to all sorts of human organs and the tools needed to get them out.  Once I'd been through the smallpox area and seen 10 seconds of brain surgery I'd kind of had enough.  Fred must have seen this in my face as he swiftly dragged Erin and I through a section he thought - as did I - a father and mother-to-be shouldn't ever see. 

After half an hour in there we walked through central London for a while to erase the memories etched on our minds and met up with Chris, Bla and Ben before we went for Korean B-B-Q.

If you ever need a protein boost go to Ko bar just off Oxford Street.  Highly Recommended.

Later we sat in a pub and discussed life, all it throws at us and baby names.   

I'm not sure who brought it up but it wasn't Erin or I.  Caroline spoke about Father's day as we left the restaurant, we had a little moment when we realised I'd get a card next year. But the names wasn't our fault.

Anyway, Fred thinks he or she should be called Brick.  As in Brick, er, Wall-er.

Other people chimed in. Rhianan, Rhian?  That was from the Welsh boy.

Then Builder was mentioned - Fred

Rudi Waller was mooted.  For those who don't know about German football it was a nod to a striking great. And before anyone thinks about extending the name to Rudolph Waller, it's already been crossed off the list as we don't want a child to sound - even remotely - like a war criminal.  

Then Dry Stone Waller was uttered.  He wouldn't give up.  Heaven help his publication if that's the best pun he can do.

We mentioned that we'd had a early front runner for a girl with the name Imogen.  This was greeted in a more positive manner than when we mentioned it to Erin's mum.  It's an absolute no go now.  She didn't really like Imogen when she first heard it and  couldn't get it into her head.  So much so when Erin spoke to her the following Sunday she said she 'didn't like the name Imogina'. And that wasn't pronounced I-MO-GEEN-A.

Another-brick-in-the Waller anyone?  Guess who thought of that.

Dummies, laughs and chocolate fudge cake

Erin and I went round to our best friends Simon and Sarah's last night with Simon's mum and dad.  We told them that Erin was pregnant a couple of weeks ago when the four of us went to France for the day.  We thought it would be weird if Erin wasn't having a glass of wine or sampling soft cheeses without any explanation and apart from saying she'd suddenly gone off the delicacies - which would be very suspicious - we couldn't think of any excuses for why Erin would not be eating them, in France, of all places.

Well, we'd told Si and Sarah,  but not Si's parents.  Si called us yesterday afternoon.  After we had sorted out that we were going to eat chocolate fudge cake for dessert, with strawberries, and raspberries, and cream,  if the local Sainsbury's hadn't sold out, the conversation paused and Si stuttered into a question. 

'Would it be all right if we told my parents about your special news?' 

'Yeah of course it would.' was my reply.

  

He then said, 'Great, I've already told them.' I burst out laughing.

After all the introductions, we got down to chit-chat and in a round about way, which I can't quite remember how, the pregnancy came up.  We were skirting around the issue and talking about Erin's family possibly coming over for Christmas as we would definitely not be going over there this year.  We were thinking everyone knew what we were talking about but there was a strange look from Si's mum, Susan.  We tried to carry on but she just kept staring at Simon.  His eyes gave himself away - he'd forgotten to tell his mum, that he'd told us, that he'd told them. 

After we told her officially and she gave Si a bit of  slap, which she later said she'd never done to him as a child and wouldn't condone, we fell about laughing which continued throughout most of the evening.

We tried to steer the conversation away from babytalk for as long as we could but just before the dessert came out, out of nowhere, Si's mum asked if we had any names for the child.  It had obviously been playing on her mind.  

At the moment we have our favourites which didn't seem to go down very well and everyone proceeded to give us theirs.

Daniel or Dan from Si - He thinks Dan Waller would make a good CNN News Anchor.

Christopher and Paul came from Simon's mum.  This made us focus a bit on Bible names.

Sarah shouted out the randoms such as Horace, Bridget and Foo Li Fah Fah - I think she might have had a few too many G and T's in the afternoon.

And Simon's dad tried to stay out of it as much as possible, and asked me if I supported Bolton Wanderers.

Stories of Simon and his brother, Richard, when they were kids, then followed and we later asked Simon's mum what would be the top three tips for parenthood.  And they were:

1.  Get them on a dummy as soon as possible - Simon didn't have one and didn't sleep, Richard did and slept until he was five apparently.

2.  Don't over stimulate them too young - they'll never sleep.

And Simon's dad then came up with the next.

3.  Don't let other parents' stories of their kids play on your minds too much.  They will develop when they develop.

We did talk about several other things throughout the rest of the night but that isn't what this blog is about.

At the end of the night as they were getting ready to go, Si's mum said 'Oh, there's one more tip. Love your children to death and you simply can't go wrong.'

 

 

A little or a lot

You may or may not know this, but we're pregnant.

That's right, the perpetual kids, Erin and Jay, who love traveling all over, being independent and generally having a laugh without any cares in the world are going to be bringing into this world and caring for another, probably, before the end of the year.

With a bit of encouragement from Erin and my American family over the pond, who won't get to witness our highs and lows first hand, I've decided to write about what we're about to go through in the next 7 months... and maybe more.

Now, even I know pregnancy takes nine months, or ten if you're Chinese.  But our journey has already begun.  Apparently two months ago.

We're now in our ninth week and as gurgle says: 'This week the baby has grown to the size of a grape, the back is straightening and webbed fingers and toes are developing.'  Don't worry, those toes should fully develop in time and I'll let you know when they do.

We found out that we were expecting a couple of weeks ago and have spent the last few days away in Portugal talking about everything future, such as where we're going to live, names, and if it could be twins.  Not necessarily in that order.   

Today, we told my parents, Erin's mum, dad and siblings with a few different reactions.

We predicted that my mum would say how lovely it was, Erin's mum would say 'I knew it' and Matt - Erin's older brother - would say 'oh wow'.  We got it wrong.

Well, my parents called this morning to see how the holiday went and after I had gone through the motions of mentioning the weather, how much we went swimming and the markets we went to, I decided to tell them. But there didn't seem to be the right moment.  My dad got on to talking about problems with his car and mum moved on to church things.  I just uh-huh-ed while wanting to shout we're pregnant, you're going to be grandparents and I'm going to tell you now. No now. No, hold on, wait until mum's stopped talking about what she had for dinner last night. 

I eventually spotted a pause in conversation and asked if dad was near the phone.  Mum said yes, but they didn't have a speakerphone and they would have to call us back on the mobile. They did straight away. And then I said it, we're pregnant to hurrays and clapping. The next words were wow and congratulations.  My mum asked if Erin was all right and then we talked babies for the next 5 minutes -  probably a sign of things to come.

This afternoon we waited for the US to wake up and called Erin's mum.  Erin, like me, went through the usual conversation but as she talked about our recent adventures she neatly moved on to telling her mum that we were about to embark on the biggest adventure of all as we're pregnant. The reaction?  A scream.

Erin's dad has chronic back pain and not only has to deal with this, but because of his medication he finds it difficult waking sometimes.  Erin talked to him but didn't think it was a good time to tell him our news.  

We then called Erin's older brother and his wife, Matt and Liz.  No answer.

Then we tried Seth, Erin's younger brother.  We thought we'd get some witty comment from her youngest sibling.  Erin told him and his fiancee Alissa and they woo-hooed.   

Matt and Liz eventually answered and Erin told Liz first.  Liz screamed - as she did when she called Erin's younger sister Robyn a  bit later.  Matt thought we were teasing and his initial reaction was 'you're kidding'.  Even after he said congratulations he asked 'you're  kidding though aren't you?'

This is no joke.

I did say that this was the first time we told someone but we had already told Robyn, Erin's sister.  Well, Erin did.  She just couldn't keep it to herself.  Robyn is the best secret keeper ever. It's now official.  and no one had even guessed, not that really she kept her thoughts to herself as we have been inundated with daily emails from her about names and advice for pregnancy.

Oh, just one more to tell.  Erin's dad.  He wasn't in the best state again but Erin told him to the reaction of 'are you a little or a lot pregnant?', hence the title of this blog.  I guess it's both, if it can be.  We are a little of the way there but very much 'a lot' pregnant.

And Erin seems to be having her first craving, Emmerdale, the girl who doesn't watch soaps can't seem to get enough.  Although she'll deny it when you ask.