Inactive birthing class

Recently, Erin and I attended an active birthing class.  We went to learn some ways to make childbirth more bearable and so I could learn breathing and massaging techniques to hep Erin.

We started with a meditation.  Erin had to lie on her favoured side and I lay on my back. The leader of the group spoke to us and relaxed us.  He took a long time to relax us making sure we were very relaxed.  After a while he asked the relaxed men to place their hands in between our partner's shoulder blades.  A few seconds after he had said this Erin nudged me to see why I hadn't done as he asked.  There was a reason.  A big one.  I had relaxed so much into the meditation, I had fallen asleep.  I had no idea where my hand was supposed to be, what I should be doing or where I really was. Erin looked at me and whispered: 'Remember why we're here.' 

Oops.

To be fair I haven't been well and I'm still not completely over some fluey symptons. 

After that little mishap I concentrated.  Lots of breathing and massage and general birthing tips then came our way.  

Nesting?

When I have a day off I find time to waste on the internet, read books I never finish or listen to mid '90s indy rock B-sides.  

Erin had her first day of maternity leave this week and tidied and cleaned the flat.  I mistook this for nesting but she reminded me that this is what she does when she's off.  She does.  I don't.  I was reminded of that too.

Amid this, she packed her hospital bag and the baby bag.  Erin and I ran though the final things to put in them this morning.  I now know what's in and what's not.  What's needed and what's not. This is unlike last weekend when Erin said she felt funny, thinking the time had come, and I went into a complete psychotic-fumbly-panic, worrying what on earth we had to get ready. Now I know.  I can't promise I won't fumble when the time comes but it will be less psychotic.

The baby's bag has the cutest things in it, boys' blue and girls' pink tops - we honestly don't know the gender, unlike some people think - and simply the cuddliest all-in-one white winter snow suit to come home in.

I think we're getting ready.

Christmas lunch

I told her I was going to write this so I better had.

We had our Christmas lunch at work today and one of my colleagues who occassionally reads the blog started talking to me while there was a bit of a lull in the general conversation. 'Just don't do what my husband did when I went into labour,' she must have been bored and been in a bit of a daydream as this was out of the blue.

'Why?'

'Well,' she continued. 'We didn't have mobiles in those days and I started contractions while he was out. I tried to get hold of him but couldn't. I left messages everywhere. Well, he'd got one of the messages but didn't call me back. I didn't hear from him for ages. I was worried sick.

'The next thing I knew I got a message from the hospital saying "I've got your husband here, I'm going to send him home, as we can't start without you".'

I hope I don't do that. But we'll see.

Scary movie

On Thursday and Friday, Erin and I attended parents' classes at St Thomas Hospital. The first was a full day about the birth, and the second was all about what happens when the little one arrives.

We were joined by other expectant women in various state of bump. There was about forty of us in the room. Around half of the women were joined by their partners who were in a various state of anxiety.

It was scary, no traumatic and most of it will not be written down here. Words like Pre-eclampsia, Gestational Diabetes, and Hypoglycemia were just the tip of the iceberg.

We were put in groups and met new people who were due around the same time as us, but as soon as we were, we had to discuss pain relief - Gas and Air, Water Birth, TENs Machine and/or Epidural.

After we went through those it was on to a ranting lecture on when to come into the hospital and when Established Labor is. They are both at the same time - after the cervix is 4 cm dilated, apparently. When the waters break we can call them, and should call them, but should not at any costs go to hospital straight away. We were told in no uncertain terms that we would be sent back home if we were there too early.

Lecture over, onto a video.  And if we thought what we were being told was scary, then this was taken to a whole new level.

I think the director and editor of the video may have been a young James Wan who went on to work on the Saw films. It was supposed be a real-life look at labor. It turned out to be a harrowing 5 minutes of a woman screaming without hearing her natural sound, only panpipes in the background. And anyone who knows the sound of panpipes knows that's scarier than screaming. Both together were truly X-rated. If it wasn't specifically designed for them, you'd advise pregnant women not to watch it.

Then came lunch. Surprisingly, we weren't very hungry.

Things got better after lunch.  And towards the end we were taken to see the wards we would be on if we were given Home from Home care.  Single wards over looking the Houses of Parliament.  

This was very cool and something to look forward(ish) to but Erin and I still didn't sleep very well on Thursday after what we had learned.  I wonder why.