Mother's day?

Over the last few weeks Aidan has gone from taking good long naps during the day to taking shorter ones leaving him overtired and a cranky little monster.  This weekend has been no better.  Today was worse than ever.

Someone at work gave me some very useful advice about babies: 'Never get used to anything, good or bad.'  I'm planning on not getting used to this patch of Aidan not sleeping well.  And Erin and I have spent this weekend wondering how to change this blip in his sleeping.  Unfortunately we deal with things very differently. Very differently. It might be a male/female thing but it's definitely a Jay and Erin thing.

She's been reading every book there is on sleep, devouring Gina Ford's Contented Little Baby book.  Then, not content herself, dipping into Baby Whisperer, then Baby Calming and No Cry Sleep Solution.  Happiest Baby On The Block is on order.  

I, on the the other hand, have not.   I've read everything other than baby books, seemingly distancing myself from it all but actually worrying myself silly about how to deal with it - without saying anything to Erin - leading her to believe I didn't care.  

Probably not the best way to deal with things.

Obviously, this led to everything coming to a head, having a stand-up row, calming down a bit and rationally talking things over.

After talking it through we've come to the following conclusion:

• His lack of daytime sleep has led to him feeding inconsistently.
  
• He sleeps well during the night after his bath and bedtime routine.  Let's keep doing that the way we do.
  
• He has a little golden hour of smiles and fun between 7 and 8am.  That could be turned into golden hours throughout the day if he sleeps better.
  
• This week Erin's going to stay in more - not fair for her but necessary for him - and get him in a routine.
  
• We're going to try a few tricks to get him to sleep through his light sleeping cycle.
  
• If this doesn't work we're going to try a crying and hushing technique - Gina Ford - during the weekend, when we can work as a team.

Having said this, he's a fun fella and smiling a lot when he's had a good daytime nap.  This is why we want him to have nicer, longer kips. 

Happy Mother's Day (The english one)

Sleep nighty night

Gina Ford - who is either regarded as a saint or passed off as a psycho-midwife with a swift 'she was never a mother' - is all about a strict routine. We've read her books and the Baby Whisperer's too and now have Aidan in a routine as such:

7am: Wake up. Feed, a change, top and tail and a little play

8: Sleep

10: Wake up. Feed, change, play in chair or gym

11:3o: Sleep

1:30pm - 2: Wake up. Feed and play

3 - 4:40 or 5: Sleep. Afternoon stroll

5 - 7: Wake up.  Feed,  kick around on the mat, bath-time, feed

7 - 8: Cry, sleep, cry, sleep

8 - 11: Wake him for a feed.  If he's doesn't fall asleep he'll drin

k a lot, if he's sleepy it can be tough getting milk inside him.

11:30: Sleep

4: Feed

4:20: Sleep

7: Wake up and start all over again.

Please note most parents overstate their skills.  This is part of their survival tactics.  We don't get the routine down all the time, maybe 50 per cent. Ok, a bit less.

Random things we've noticed:

Just before he's getting ready for his sleep he'll give a big stare or yawn (Thanks Baby Whisperer).  If we don't catch these signs there'll be a long hard cry.  We try to catch these signs.

If we swaddle him he sleeps better.

If he's up longer than an hour in the morning he goes into a meltdown.

His dummy is a good aid to sleep but if it falls out of his mouth too soon it can be more trouble than it's worth.

The toughest time for him is 7pm - 8pm. He sometimes wants to play or eat or suck on his dummy or simply cry. Rarely does he want to go straight down to sleep.

He now knows bath-time.  He's started smiling while in the bath and if he misses it, which we did twice this last week, he let's us know with a loud raucous yell.

If we don't get enough food in him at the night feed (11pm - 11:3opm) he wakes early and will have to have two middle-of-the-night feeds, sometimes sending him off kilter in the morning. We then worry how the rest of the day will pan out.

The only problem with the routine is that when we don't follow it, or Aidan has an off day with it, it'll be a major worry for us.  It usually bothers us more than him.

Manic Monday

Erin sent me a text yesterday afternoon asking if I thought it would be a good idea to get Aidan sleeping on his own without any aid from cuddles, the bottle or his dummy from now on. 

I agreed.  The more I read about bad sleep associations, the less sleep I have at night worrying that we're doing it all wrong.  He likes to lie on us to sleep and we like him lying on us while he sleeps.  When we put him down in his moses basket he's usually asleep, and if he wakes, it takes a while to settle him down.

And this is apparently wrong.  According to Gina Ford - who's guide books we're trying to follow - it's very wrong so we're stopping doing it.

But we're stopping it tonight - the night Erin's out with her friend.  I said I'd give it a go as I can probably handle the crying better.

So tonight the plan is supposed to be:

6:00 - Bath him

6:15 - Feed in dark room

6:30 - Sleep or Cry Down until 7

7 - 10 - Sleep

It's supposed to take around 20 minutes for babies to Cry Down as long as they have been fed and clean.  If he's crying we should only go to him every 10-20 minutes and when we do, just talk gently or hush him and only stay for 2 minutes max.  

This is what happened.

5:40 - Mum leaves.

5:50 - I get everything ready for Aidan's bath so he doesn't cry too much.

5:52 - Bath Aidan.

5:54 - Get Aidan out of the bath.  He's crying.

5:55 - Dry him. He screaming.

5:57 - He's all changed into his nightwear but the screeches haven't subsided.

6:05 - He's calmed down and playing on the couch while I read what Gina Ford's says about what to do to Cry Down  a baby.

6:15 - Go to the bedroom to feed (Daddy's pretty pleased with himself, he's on schedule).  Aidan has a big feed so I know he's all right for the Cry Down.

6:35 - Burp him, make sure he's got a clean nappy and put him down to sleep.

6:35 - No sooner as I leave the room, he starts to cry.

6:40 - He's been crying for what has felt like a year and the volume is now up to 11.

6:44 - Read in the book that Crying Down is the opposite or Crying Up (no kidding but what does that mean?) Crying Up is when babies wake and cry a little then rest, cry a bit more and rest less, then eventually cry all the time until they get attention.  When Crying Down, in theory at least, they cry less and less and the time between cries becomes longer.

6:45 - A few silences appear. The rest times now get longer. Wow the book's right.

6:52 - One Squawky cry then silence.  I've cracked it.  

My baby is asleep and I am King of the Dads.

7:00 - What?  Was that a cry?

7:01 - Yes.  And again and again and again. 

Crap, I'm the worst dad in the world.

7:02 -7:13 - The silences get longer. But cries are regular.

7:13 - Was going to go in to see him but he becomes silent for a long while.

7:14 - Stand outside the bedroom door to give moral support.

7:16 - Someone yells outside.  Aidan yells back.  And continues yelling a long time after they are gone.

7:20 - Go in to reassure him. Talk calmly, hush him and gently rub his stomach.

7:22 - Leave - Gina would be proud. He's quiet.

7:32 - The buzzer buzzes louder than ever before and a man wants me to change electricity companies. He goes away with a flee in his ear.  I will never use that electricity company and I wait for the crying.

7:40 - Delayed reaction and Aidan cries again, loudly, as if he's in a panic.

7:41 - I go in.  I check his nappy and unusually he becomes quiet.  I leave him in silence which he remains for half an hour.

8:10 - A few squawks become big yells.

8:16 - Go and see him.  He's the loudest he's been and only calms down momentarily.

8:23 - I'm on the internet to see if this is right as the book doesn't mention that it'll go on for so long. No answers.  Only more questions.

8:23 - 9:07  - It's all a bit hazy with rests then cries.  The phone goes at some stage.  I answer in quick flash time, it's Si.  Aidan's calm after I put the phone down.

9:07 - Erin comes home.  She hears him cry and wants to go to him.  I explain what I understand by Crying Down.  She still wants to go to him. We discuss whether this is all right, if he's too tired, if he's hungry, and... Should. He. Be. Still. Crying?

9:17 - I go to him.  He almost bites my finger off when I put it near his mouth.

9:20 - We feed him a little.

9:23 - We worry if we should have fed him.

He sleeps.

At 10:00 we got him up for his late feed.  We changed him, got him playing a little then fed him and put him down asleep by 10:30.  He slept until 2:15, then fed, then slept until 6:45.

Not sure if we did right but he slept well during the rest of the night.

Any tips from the parents out there?