Difficult times

Well, not that difficult but secret keeping isn't my forte and we're only telling a select few people about the pregnancy until we've had the 12 week scan - 15 days to go.  

I always have to tell someone at least some part of a secret I know.  I'm sure - and it's amazing that I've not been found out, or if I have, punched, for letting some secrets go - that I've let some major ones out of the bag in the past.  In fact I have.  As a teenager I loved gossip - good for my career I suppose - and always had to pass it on to at least one person as soon as I heard it.  But at the moment we're not telling any more people than we've already told and it's killing me.  

I generally have ups and downs with my moods anyway but as soon as we found out about Erin it's been haywire and when people ask me how I am I must be so conspicuous with my answer as it's just a set pat Yeah good thanks - said very quickly, and very quickly after the question has been asked. Usually, I'll allude to the truth and see if the person who asked the question wants to pick up the gauntlet.  But not now, I just blurt out that I'm good and turn it around to them.  

I can't actually bare taking about myself at the moment as all I want to do is shout our news from the roof tops and I'm sure I'm going to let the cat out of the bag half way through all my sentences.

But my mum and dad are in London tonight so we're going out for a meal.  I might be babied out by the end of the evening.

Pregnant dreams

Erin's dad, Bud, has just said that I should expect pregnancy dreams. 

This scares me.  

Dreams of me being pregnant?  Surely that's just wrong.

Have any men who are reading this who are fathers had these dreams or is it just Bud?

 

A little or a lot

You may or may not know this, but we're pregnant.

That's right, the perpetual kids, Erin and Jay, who love traveling all over, being independent and generally having a laugh without any cares in the world are going to be bringing into this world and caring for another, probably, before the end of the year.

With a bit of encouragement from Erin and my American family over the pond, who won't get to witness our highs and lows first hand, I've decided to write about what we're about to go through in the next 7 months... and maybe more.

Now, even I know pregnancy takes nine months, or ten if you're Chinese.  But our journey has already begun.  Apparently two months ago.

We're now in our ninth week and as gurgle says: 'This week the baby has grown to the size of a grape, the back is straightening and webbed fingers and toes are developing.'  Don't worry, those toes should fully develop in time and I'll let you know when they do.

We found out that we were expecting a couple of weeks ago and have spent the last few days away in Portugal talking about everything future, such as where we're going to live, names, and if it could be twins.  Not necessarily in that order.   

Today, we told my parents, Erin's mum, dad and siblings with a few different reactions.

We predicted that my mum would say how lovely it was, Erin's mum would say 'I knew it' and Matt - Erin's older brother - would say 'oh wow'.  We got it wrong.

Well, my parents called this morning to see how the holiday went and after I had gone through the motions of mentioning the weather, how much we went swimming and the markets we went to, I decided to tell them. But there didn't seem to be the right moment.  My dad got on to talking about problems with his car and mum moved on to church things.  I just uh-huh-ed while wanting to shout we're pregnant, you're going to be grandparents and I'm going to tell you now. No now. No, hold on, wait until mum's stopped talking about what she had for dinner last night. 

I eventually spotted a pause in conversation and asked if dad was near the phone.  Mum said yes, but they didn't have a speakerphone and they would have to call us back on the mobile. They did straight away. And then I said it, we're pregnant to hurrays and clapping. The next words were wow and congratulations.  My mum asked if Erin was all right and then we talked babies for the next 5 minutes -  probably a sign of things to come.

This afternoon we waited for the US to wake up and called Erin's mum.  Erin, like me, went through the usual conversation but as she talked about our recent adventures she neatly moved on to telling her mum that we were about to embark on the biggest adventure of all as we're pregnant. The reaction?  A scream.

Erin's dad has chronic back pain and not only has to deal with this, but because of his medication he finds it difficult waking sometimes.  Erin talked to him but didn't think it was a good time to tell him our news.  

We then called Erin's older brother and his wife, Matt and Liz.  No answer.

Then we tried Seth, Erin's younger brother.  We thought we'd get some witty comment from her youngest sibling.  Erin told him and his fiancee Alissa and they woo-hooed.   

Matt and Liz eventually answered and Erin told Liz first.  Liz screamed - as she did when she called Erin's younger sister Robyn a  bit later.  Matt thought we were teasing and his initial reaction was 'you're kidding'.  Even after he said congratulations he asked 'you're  kidding though aren't you?'

This is no joke.

I did say that this was the first time we told someone but we had already told Robyn, Erin's sister.  Well, Erin did.  She just couldn't keep it to herself.  Robyn is the best secret keeper ever. It's now official.  and no one had even guessed, not that really she kept her thoughts to herself as we have been inundated with daily emails from her about names and advice for pregnancy.

Oh, just one more to tell.  Erin's dad.  He wasn't in the best state again but Erin told him to the reaction of 'are you a little or a lot pregnant?', hence the title of this blog.  I guess it's both, if it can be.  We are a little of the way there but very much 'a lot' pregnant.

And Erin seems to be having her first craving, Emmerdale, the girl who doesn't watch soaps can't seem to get enough.  Although she'll deny it when you ask.