The expert - part 3

I know some people think I'm too open in some of my blog posts.  If you're of this opinion then it's probably wise that you come back in a few days time when there'll be some fun photos posted about Uncle Seth and Aunt Alissa's visit to see Adain, London and Norway.

The rest of you carry on.

We went back to see Louise the Lactation Lady today for our 3rd session in three days. We saw progress in Aidan's finger feeding last night but as exhaustion is setting for Erin and I we decided, before we went in, if he had dropped weight from his Wednesday weigh-in we'd definitely settle for the bottle.  We're not exactly sure how much of the food he takes in, he dribbles a lot and often spits up.  I thought, and quietly hoped, he'd dropped weight so we could get on with a consistent feed.

He'd put on 80 grams.  A good amount in three days.  I looked at Erin and knew we were going for another push at this.

In the next few minutes a strategy was developed but it only led to crying and screaming from the little fella and desperation from me.  Erin looked beaten too.

Louise was persistently taking Aidan on but I decided to confront her about the issue of 'breast being best' which we always hear.  I said that we'd had enough of this, that I was really worried about the well being of both Erin and Aidan, and that surely formula would be all right? She was calm in her response and gave us her arguments.  The ones below are the ones I heard:

• Breast feeding provides nutrients and immunity which formula can't.  
• The government is investing millions in this message because those who breast feed are less of a drain to the resources of the NHS
• It stimulates intelligence.
  

She spoke for around 5 minutes with a calm passion which showed she wasn't going to give up on us.  But I had to have one more go.  I started with the intelligence issue suggesting that if he took formula he might not be getting what mother's milk provides but he would still be getting the care and attention from us two, being constantly spoken to and read to and nurtured.  I even mentioned that he'd been given a little show from his teddy bears in the morning before we left to see her. 

To me the intelligence issue is a non starter and so are the government lines, so I ignored them. I told her what really concerns me is that when I go back to work Erin will be home alone dealing with a baby that potentially won't feed or cries when doing so.  I don't want that to have a damaging impact on mother and baby's relationship, and mother's sanity. 

Louise took a moment to think about this and then asked us to see what we thought about her plan to continue finger feeding over the weekend, use a few approach techniques and for Erin to go back and see her on Monday.  She said that Aidan had made great progress, and if he hadn't, she would have given up there and then.  She also said, as he's gained weight this week, we didn't have to wake him every three hours at night.

We were given added faith when Louise called at the end of her shift to ask Erin to bring a bottle teat with her to Monday's session.  She said she'd been giving us extra thought and wants to try use the teat to trick him. (I suppose if we were in the US we would be paying a pretty penny for this type of service).

We're going to follow the plan.  But I do feel that it's a shame we're having to focus on this. Aidan is currently opening up his big blue eyes more than ever, he's enjoying meeting his new teddy bears, a monkey and rubber ducks. And he gives us the largest belches I've ever heard. When we're not worried about him he does make us giggle.

2nd midwife visit - a spectator sport

Today we went to see the midwife for the second time.   

We were brought in by lets-call-her Nicola who's the second substitute midwife we've seen out of two substitute midwives.  She was very nice and asked Erin how she was and caught up with the pregnancy with a few questions as well as studying Erin's records book.  She then took Erin through her blood test results which all look normal, negative or healthy - this is normal, positive and healthy.

I just smiled and nodded. It really did feel like a spectator sport.  I felt a little out of sorts in the midwife's room as, even though I'm quite an active researcher on pregnancy, try to be a hands on dad-to-be, and the midwife was professional and friendly,  it all seemed nothing to do with me.  I was a spare part.  A simple smiler and nodder.  I'm not complaining.  Erin is the one doing all the hard work.  But have any other dads-to-be reading this felt this way?

Erin's record book was filled in with the blood test results and then it was time for her to hop on the bed and get measured.  A lot of people have commented how Erin is hardly showing and that was a bit of a concern of ours before we went into the clinic.  However, when Erin was measured, she was 21 cms from the top of her bump to her pelvic bone which is a perfect measurement - it's 1 cm for every week.  

We also heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time.  The choo-choo audio from my grandad's collection of British Rail Sounds Of Train Stations vinyls were brought back to me as the baby's 158 heart-rate boomed around the room.  It was emotionally staggering. (Don't ask about the British Rail Sound Of Train Stations vinyls. They entertained a 4 year Jay but luckily didn't leave any lasting trainspotter scares.)

Erin's 21 weeks and a day now and we booked ourselves in 10 weeks ago.  Last time we took a bunch of questions which were answered easily with astounding reassurance and we left proudly bouncing all the way to the coffee shop where we reflected on what had happened. However, the 10 weeks since seeing the midwife has been a long time to dwell on other worries and another list of question were drawn up on Tuesday night.

They were nothing that hadn't been asked before so we asked them and they were answered:

The right side of Erin's bump seems to be bigger, is this normal?

Babies often start lying on the right but will move over as it gets bigger as more organs are on that side. It'll get more central.

How do you stop heartburn?

There's a natural acid build up during pregnancy.  Eat little but often and also milk before bedtime could work to reduce the acid build up.

Can we call an ambulance if we think things are going too fast on the day, especially as the waters could break in the Christmas period? 

Yes, but they prefer you not to.  If it's an emergency it's all right. Call around for taxis before the big day as some taxis don't take you when the waters have broken.

There were more but I'll save you those.

At the end, again, we walked out with an excited jump in our step.  Tomorrow's the scan.

Midwife - First meeting

On Thursday afternoon we had our first meeting with our midwife.  Well, we would have if our midwife wouldn't have been sick but we had a meeting with a midwife.  

She checked Erin's blood pressure then proceeded by taking most of it out of her right arm for three tubes full to be sent for a slew of tests.  These, however, don't include whether s/he will get a first from St Johns College, Oxford; will become the 2032 Olympic 100m gold medallist, get a tattoo behind her parents' back, or if  she'll have her father's eyebrows. 

Shame.

Erin then produced a full vial of urine and plonked it on the midwife's table - don't worry, she was asked for this.  More tests.

After this, we were given a Pregnancy Medical Records Book.  This will list all the history of our pregnancy.  Erin asked if she could personalise it with stickers, doodles and collages. The midwife then looked at her and said: 'You can.  But this will be kept on NHS records for the next 25 years.' Erin then realised it wasn't a scrapbook, even though there is an envelope inside the front cover for baby keepsakes.

The book's first few pages are full of the usual name, age and job questions then it goes on to all the family medical history questions.  We seemed to do well at these and ended up with the comment, Low Risk Pregnancy.  I think that's at least a B+.  (Erin's just read this and complained about my low expectations.  She thinks it should be and A.  Maybe this is a sign of things to come for our child's first report card.)

The midwife asked if we had any questions. We Had.  A whole list.  Erin started on hers, then I on mine.  We asked about flying, cycling, painkillers, sore tail bones, scans, appointments, classes, yoga, free stuff and dentists.  Finally we asked if we had forgotten anything and what most people worry about.  She then rolled her eyes and said that a lot of parents are over anxious and worry about things that don't matter at this stage.  She gave us a knowing look then said we'd be fine.

We left smiling.