Beware this is a rant...
As it's written above, the latter sounds nice. Erin and I will, in a couple of weeks, all being well, have started a family. But that's seemingly not how it's meant by others. At a recent wedding we were watching a father entertaining his daughter by taking her up and down the stairs. The mother caught Erin's eye (and saw her belly) and instantly turned round with what can only be described as spite in her words: 'Make the most of this, it's your last wedding as just the two of you.'
First of all how did she know we weren't invited to the next Hello magazine celeb affair?
And secondly - I might regret this statement later - but surely bringing up a baby, no matter how tiring, how life changing, how prioratising, it shouldn't leave you bitter should it? Erin and I have a had a great run so far and are ready for a family.
So the lucky couples, who I know, who haven't got a child, rest assured, if you do get pregnant, and you're in my company, I won't be uttering those horridly smug words. (But I can't promise I won't use too many commas in your congrats card.)
Nor will I constantly ask you when you're due date is.
If I ask twice it'll be too many.
There's a woman at work who knows what week Erin's pregnancy is on, when her next midwife appointment is and the day the baby is due. This may be over efficient - she's the best PA I know, by the way - but she shows that she also listens.
Before I was married I would sometimes get wedding invitations and not reply by the RSVP date. I am apologising now to those people who I let down. Since getting married, knowing how annoying this is, I do reply - or more correctly, Erin and I make sure we get the RSVP off as quick as we can. People planning a wedding need to know you're coming, for numbers and that they know their special day is also important to you.
It's the same when people are pregnant. It's our priority and we're talking about it a lot. I know it's not yours, but if you're asking more than 4 or 5 times and not remembering, we know you don't really care.
I used to get a little peeved when people would ask about Erin's well being and not mine. I don't care about that any more as she's the important one. But the other two sentences? Well, now you know.
2 comments:
While I know you don't appreciate the spite in the mothers tone - coming from a mom who adores her kids - when you are absolutely exhausted, feeling under-appreciated and can only vaguely remember when you used to be a fun, foot-loose and fancy free gal....well, its not truly spite as much as it is to not be lost in the title of "mom" (or "dad"). So I guess all I can say is for both of you - do what it takes to remind the other that just because you have a new job title/description that you are still the fun, exciting person that they always were to you. To each other you will always be Erin & Jason not just Mom & Dad...if that makes any sense. - Erin's cousin Michelle
I may be a pollyanna here, but about the folk who ask you your due date more than once - they may not care, *or* they may have a small children and consequently the memory of a goldfish.
Put it this way, I've recently been asked my *own* due date and said, 'April 13th, no, hang on, April 15th'. I have a countdown ticker to tell me how many weeks I am because I *genuinely* keep forgetting.
Last time, I could tell you how pregnant I was to the day.
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