The last thing people talk about is labor. I did this once with friends back up north, and I now know why people don't. It's the unwritten rule.
Last night's class, however, was all about labour. A guest midwife was invited to come in and - without our partners in the room - the theory was that we would ask the most pertinent questions (but we all know they know more gory stuff than we would ever delve into anyway).
Well, Julie was the midwife, the one who Erin and I met last Friday. We were in for a good night.
We started at 6:30. As one question was answered the next one lept off the tongues of the men. We started with the moods of our partners, then got into labor, then on to what men should be doing in the first few days, then back to what we should be doing in labor, massage in labor, how much labour hurts, what the best birthing position for women is, the best position for men at that time, what the baby will look like, what problems could occur at the beginning of a baby's life, what injections the baby should have, when the next visit to the doctors should be, how long it takes a woman to heal after the birth, then back to the labour. And the forceps and venteuse.
These were in Julie's bag of goodies (or is that baddies?). A Venteuse looks like a Fisher Price toy but the forceps look like BBQ forks, nothing toylike whatsoever.
Back to the questions. What should we say or not say during labor? What should we wear and what should be in the pregnancy plan and bag you bring to the hospital?
8 o clock came very soon. Too soon. We still had plenty more to ask. But after we left with little gems such as only offer two fingers for the woman to hold so she doesn't crush your hand, we went for an end of term drink.
The conversation in the pub? Baby names.
2 comments:
My (totally unsolicited) advice to expectant fathers:
When your partner's in labour, just do as you are told, no matter how irrational and/ or contradictory it may seem. It will make sense to her and will be really important to make her feel supported. Tell her she's doing brilliantly, especially when she says 'I can't do this'.
Most midwives treat men as the enemy at worst or an irrelevant inconvenience at best. Don't take it personally.
Be familiar with the birth plan so you can answer questions if she's contracting or doped up or whatever.
Bring a clean t-shirt so you can do skin to skin with the baby while your missis has a shower/ bath.
Forget the videos, forget the goriness, forget the horror stories. Labour hurts a lot and it's not dignified or pretty, and it can be darned stressful, but it's worth it. Some of us go back for more! You'll be fine.
My health teacher, father of three, told a classroom of 13 year-old boys that one of the most important things you can pack in your "go to the hospital" bag are tennis balls. So, instead of offering two fingers, just give her a ball and avoid the risk entirely. Or, so I've heard.
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