Thursday, October 23, 2008

Horses or trains

We went to see the midwife for our 30 week check up today.  Kathy was a very friendly but rather firm midwife whose deep throaty laugh could sound fun, a bit terrifying and slightly sinister, depending on the context.

Everything went well.  We were welcomed in with one of Kathy's laughs and were given a  financial advice package to teach us about tax credit, benefits and trust funds - Kathy laughed when Erin asked if there was any money inside the pack - and all was going well.  

Kathy asked if Erin was working.  When Erin said yes she replied: 'Good.  Hard work is good for the baby. A lazy mother means a lazy baby.'  I then told her Erin climbed a mountain last saturday and she belly laughed.

Then came the blood tests.  Erin said that she thought  - and hoped - that Kathy would forget about that.  'Oh, I never forget blood tests,' cue sinister laugh, 'I'm a vampire, I like blood tests.'  She got the blood out of Erin as quick as a flash.  Scarily impressive.

Erin popped up on the bed for Kathy to check the baby.  She measured 32 cm from the top of Erin's belly to the bottom - at 30 weeks it should be 30cm.  Kathy said the baby had probably just had a growing spurt and there was nothing to worry about, really.  She then had a feel around for the baby and found the head.  She said: 'Oh, there's the head.  Do you want to feel it?'  The next thing I knew, the baby's head was between my thumb and forefinger.  Amazing. 

Then she searched for the heartbeat which she found then lost. 'That's funny,' she said a bit worryingly and without laughing.  'The baby just moved.'  Apparently the baby didn't want to be bothered with the heart rate monitor and shunned it.  A minute or so later the heart rate was beating like horses according to Erin and a train according me.  I say this as I asked Kathy if she could tell the sex of the baby through the rate of the heart beat, she said, 'Yes.  If it sounds like horses, it's a boy and if it sounds like a train then it's a girl.'  She wouldn't say what she thought it sounded like and left us disagreeing over which one it was.

I just hope there's nothing wrong with being 32 cm at 30 weeks.

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