Erin and the arm wrestlers

Unfortunately we didn't take the camcorder with us on the big walk of the weekend up a mountain. It would have been great to chronicle Erin's efforts.

But here she is after Sunday's breakfast with a few extras.

Can I have a feel?

Three Welshies, an Ozzie, two 'mericans, two Irish, a Bristolian, a member of indy pop royalty, a chemical engineer, an estate agent, too many journalists and a top ranked UK tennis star joined in on an amazing time in Wales this weekend.

The group on top of Sugarloaf Mountain near Abergavenny, South Wales

Highlights included Chris's home made Bara Brith, watching crows fight over apple cores, and seeing people's reactions when they got to feel the baby kick inside Erin. (And yes Simon, your quiz was, as usual, spectacular).


Back to the baby, we think it's going to be wary around people, a little shy at first, but a show-off when they get to know the people they are around. This is all based on the past few meetings with friends who have tried and failed to feel what's going on inside Erin. The moment they go near her belly nothing seems to happen. This weekend Erin desperately wanted friends, and in particular Caroline, to be able to feel the movements - she's tried for the last 3 meetings without one jab, kick or head roll. But after a little bit of gentle belly holding and calm coaxing a squeal of delight let us know that she had felt it.


On Saturday night, I witnessed a huddle of 5 of our friends around Erin all holding various areas of her stomach. A few months ago that would have been weird, but it's pretty standard fare with friends now. Well, they all got to feel something. Chris was the first to get a jab, then Fred was next. Each person left Erin probably feeling that little bit closer to her. Some did say, however, that they wonder how she puts up with it.


It did take a lot of patience from all concerned to feel the baby, which is why I think he or she will be a little shy. On the way back from Wales with just the two (or three) of us in the car Erin kept saying things like 'oh baby', or 'oh, my baby', or just a 'phew', which told me that there was a whole lot more wriggling to be done than what our friends got to feel this weekend.

Watch it

'Look, you can watch it now,' Erin has just this minute shrieked.

I hadn't got a clue what she was talking about. Then she pointed at her belly, and there it was, visible movement from her bump with little pushes here and there.

It's the first time we've seen this. We can't stop looking and giggling.

Art gallery part two: the book shop

After strolling around the Tate, dodging the runners, we ended up in the book shop.

At the end of the shop was a bold sign saying Children's Books.  I was attracted to the section like an indoctrinated zombie out of old spiderman cartoons - it could be something to do with never growing up.

Here are a few of my favourite spots from last night.

Obviously the Very Hungry Caterpillar is ubiquitous in these sections but it was next to the find of the night. Now, I say it was the find of the night but neither Erin nor I can now remember the book's title so can't get a link to it.  But it was a small hard back book with card pages.  As you opened the pages you saw different animals moving along the page in a cartoon flicking style. 

I say that was the best but there was one which captured my attention much longer, a pop-up dinosaur book called Encyclopedia prehistorica.  I'm not sure how long the pages would last in my hands let a lone a child's but seeing this took me back to my days of obsessing over stickers books where I made the Brontosaurus, stegosaurus, and triceratops all run a way from my favourite, T-Rex.  

I now can't get 20th Century Boy out of my head.

There was also Madeline in London, Where The Wild Things Are and various Dr Seus.

We've already started a little collection of Roald Dahl at home.

I can't wait to read bedtime stories.

Confused?

Most of us are when first talking about pregnancy. Now a children's charity have proven it. Their website isn't bad for getting a few answers either - very happy there's a dads-to-be section.

Pregmunity

Yesterday we went to a party in Cambridge but most of us there felt old. Looking around we were all grown up, or at least getting there.  And it was a little worrying.

Our friend, Chris, turned 30 at midnight and got engaged to our friend Andrea a few weeks ago. The engagement didn't seem to affect Andrea regarding age but the party did.  Knowing that there were engaged couples, married couples, expectant couples and parent couples - and their children - turning up was a worry to her.  She didn't like that we were all becoming responsible adults. I think a few glasses of wine put pay to that though. 

Obviously Erin and I are in the 3rd category (and 2nd. Oh, and have been in the first. And, er, are soon to be in the latter).  We met some great people and had some fun chats with people in all the categories, learning a lot from the 4th.  It's quite amazing really that when your wife is pregnant, conversations are very easy. People ask how things are going - alluding to the bump - and it flows from there.  If you're talking to a couple or person who has a child it's even easier, but the questions come from you rather than the other way round.  Also, nothing is out of bounds: bodily functions, body parts, anything, literally anything.  There's definitely a pregnancy community - a pregmunity?  

We were part of this at the party with instant offers of advice, books and maternity clothes.  We took up all three offers and picked up a few things before we left Cambridge this morning, very happily - thank you Zoe and Andy.

And the advice? Here's what we learned:

Women tend not to be able to think past the birth, it's easier for men to do. 

Men: Go to the loo before the labor so you don't miss anything and you may be needed. 

St. Thomas' Hospital (ours) Pregnancy Yoga on the 8th floor is great.

Women: Make sure you really know how to relax your muscles at the birth.  It'll make everything so much easier.

When the baby comes along:

You might want to be as eco-friendly using reusable nappies but forget that at the beginning. Get the disposable ones, they'll fit better for the first 6 weeks.

The first weeks are tough, not just because of lack of sleep but the lack of response from the little one.  Once you get smiled at it's heaven. 

Baby gyms are a godsend. Get a cheap travel one so they can be stored, thrown in the corner of the lounge and got at as you wish.

Breast-feeding can be difficult, and if it doesn't work out, don't get depressed about it. Plenty of children have been brought up without it.

There's a great children's drop-in centre in Kennington - just round the corner from our house.

Life goes on, you can go out to eat when the baby comes along, just do it at lunchtime.

2nd midwife visit - a spectator sport

Today we went to see the midwife for the second time.   

We were brought in by lets-call-her Nicola who's the second substitute midwife we've seen out of two substitute midwives.  She was very nice and asked Erin how she was and caught up with the pregnancy with a few questions as well as studying Erin's records book.  She then took Erin through her blood test results which all look normal, negative or healthy - this is normal, positive and healthy.

I just smiled and nodded. It really did feel like a spectator sport.  I felt a little out of sorts in the midwife's room as, even though I'm quite an active researcher on pregnancy, try to be a hands on dad-to-be, and the midwife was professional and friendly,  it all seemed nothing to do with me.  I was a spare part.  A simple smiler and nodder.  I'm not complaining.  Erin is the one doing all the hard work.  But have any other dads-to-be reading this felt this way?

Erin's record book was filled in with the blood test results and then it was time for her to hop on the bed and get measured.  A lot of people have commented how Erin is hardly showing and that was a bit of a concern of ours before we went into the clinic.  However, when Erin was measured, she was 21 cms from the top of her bump to her pelvic bone which is a perfect measurement - it's 1 cm for every week.  

We also heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time.  The choo-choo audio from my grandad's collection of British Rail Sounds Of Train Stations vinyls were brought back to me as the baby's 158 heart-rate boomed around the room.  It was emotionally staggering. (Don't ask about the British Rail Sound Of Train Stations vinyls. They entertained a 4 year Jay but luckily didn't leave any lasting trainspotter scares.)

Erin's 21 weeks and a day now and we booked ourselves in 10 weeks ago.  Last time we took a bunch of questions which were answered easily with astounding reassurance and we left proudly bouncing all the way to the coffee shop where we reflected on what had happened. However, the 10 weeks since seeing the midwife has been a long time to dwell on other worries and another list of question were drawn up on Tuesday night.

They were nothing that hadn't been asked before so we asked them and they were answered:

The right side of Erin's bump seems to be bigger, is this normal?

Babies often start lying on the right but will move over as it gets bigger as more organs are on that side. It'll get more central.

How do you stop heartburn?

There's a natural acid build up during pregnancy.  Eat little but often and also milk before bedtime could work to reduce the acid build up.

Can we call an ambulance if we think things are going too fast on the day, especially as the waters could break in the Christmas period? 

Yes, but they prefer you not to.  If it's an emergency it's all right. Call around for taxis before the big day as some taxis don't take you when the waters have broken.

There were more but I'll save you those.

At the end, again, we walked out with an excited jump in our step.  Tomorrow's the scan.