Everything went well. We were welcomed in with one of Kathy's laughs and were given a financial advice package to teach us about tax credit, benefits and trust funds - Kathy laughed when Erin asked if there was any money inside the pack - and all was going well.
Kathy asked if Erin was working. When Erin said yes she replied: 'Good. Hard work is good for the baby. A lazy mother means a lazy baby.' I then told her Erin climbed a mountain last saturday and she belly laughed.
Then came the blood tests. Erin said that she thought - and hoped - that Kathy would forget about that. 'Oh, I never forget blood tests,' cue sinister laugh, 'I'm a vampire, I like blood tests.' She got the blood out of Erin as quick as a flash. Scarily impressive.
Erin popped up on the bed for Kathy to check the baby. She measured 32 cm from the top of Erin's belly to the bottom - at 30 weeks it should be 30cm. Kathy said the baby had probably just had a growing spurt and there was nothing to worry about, really. She then had a feel around for the baby and found the head. She said: 'Oh, there's the head. Do you want to feel it?' The next thing I knew, the baby's head was between my thumb and forefinger. Amazing.
Then she searched for the heartbeat which she found then lost. 'That's funny,' she said a bit worryingly and without laughing. 'The baby just moved.' Apparently the baby didn't want to be bothered with the heart rate monitor and shunned it. A minute or so later the heart rate was beating like horses according to Erin and a train according me. I say this as I asked Kathy if she could tell the sex of the baby through the rate of the heart beat, she said, 'Yes. If it sounds like horses, it's a boy and if it sounds like a train then it's a girl.' She wouldn't say what she thought it sounded like and left us disagreeing over which one it was.
I just hope there's nothing wrong with being 32 cm at 30 weeks.
