Battles

At bedtime tonight just as the nightly reading is done and the lights are turned off, Aidan says in a hushed voice "there is a war going on in my class but my teacher  doesn't know about it." 

He goes on to explain that the boys in the class seem to be getting a little playfully rough with each other, "crushing" each other on purpose. Now Aidan is a not really a rough and tumble kind of kid. He has managed this far in life to avoid the boys when they are kicking about on the play mat in spite of fretting preschool teachers trying to pull them apart. So to Aidan is a big deal. He is apparently conjuring up tips and strategies from his friends on how to "battle" with the others. One kid has offered to train him up to be just like him, like an apprentice. Another has been conspiring with him to get a "bomb" or "campfire" into the classroom, both ideas he scoffed at, thankfully. 

My panic parent mode is trying hard to hold back from picking up the phone and calling his teacher to put a stop to all of this. But I can't, he is figuring it out on his own. So, in the style of trying not to lecture but I am voice, I reminded him that he doesn't need to change to be like anyone else and that he too has tips to share for his friends. And if something goes from fun play to hurting, yes, he knows. Tell them to stop. But what he didn't know was that he needed to say it like he says it to Tenley. That somehow clicked for him, he liked that. Eyes sparkling, smile on his face, he was again listening to me, even though it was at the expense of his sister. 

I may still call but I'll probably wait a day or two. 

It's been a while since this blog was used but it's time to start again. Tenley is nearly 3 years old and Aidan now 6. It's amazing how quickly the years have gone by. That sounds cliche but it's so very true.

Aidan is an inquisitive, thoughtful, cautious guy. He is a collector, when he was younger it was of Thomas the train, and matchbox cars and after dabbling in transformers and teenage mutant ninja turtles, he has landed hard on Pokemon. It started happening just before Christmas. He received his first set of cards for his birthday and then the madness rolled in. Jason asked around at work and soon enough we have a collection of 300 or so waiting for him to earn as well as plenty floating around his his specific spots. He sleeps with Picachoo every night and just worked very hard to earn two more Pokemon stuffed animals. I can't even spell their names. I wonder if this will every fade away but I do remember his very one track mind with Thomas. He learned his colors thanks to James, the red engine, Percy the green one, and so on. We stopped tantrums instantaneously with re-told stories from the cartoon. We lulled him to sleep telling stories of the crew. Pokemon is a little harder to use given the unfamiliarity of it all. It's hard to pronounce the names and the rules for the game are so complex, I give up. Yet we can still break a night terror with recalling the names of his favorite. What next?

Yes, he still has night terrors every once in a while. Usually it's when he is tired or an illness is coming on. Other than that, he is an amazing sleeper. I remember many nights of disrupted sleep. I remember searching around frantically in the dark for his "nei nei", cussing under my breath at the importance of it all. I remember many drives around to get him to take a nap. The funny walking to bounce him to sleep. Yes, he wasn't great at sleeping until about 4. Then it just happened. Amazing.

Now if we are talking sleep, my mind goes immediately toward Tenley. She is my sleep stealer right now. She has been for the past 3 years. As of March 16th, she has finally ended nursing. It's only been a few days yet so I feel cautious about celebrating. But it is awesome to not be groped by her (as much) or to be awkwardly holding her for hours on end to make sure she keeps nursing and doesn't wake (so I could keep sleeping). I think her poor sleep is connected in part to the extended nursing but I also wonder if her snoring has something to do with it too. We'll be checking into that when we firmly establish that nursing is completely and utterly over.

She loves to be close to someone, especially me. We are certainly close and she makes it pretty clear that she prefers me to anyone else. I am sure that will change. I remember when Aidan started asking for his daddy and telling me that he loved his daddy more. heartbreaking. He was my little boy. Then suddenly he felt like he was telling me that he wasn't anymore. Tenley will do that to. I remind myself of that when I am exhausted by her shouting for me or fighting her daddy to be with me.

Tenley is a natural eccentric. She strikes a pose continuously throughout the day. She prefers dress up clothes or her swimsuit. She is in character a lot. A lot! And she is very determined. It's a battle of wills between us sometimes. usually about wearing the appropriate attire for the occasion. I hear myself saying ludicrous things like "no you can't wear your swimsuit to school today." or "you will have to take off your princess dress to fit your snow pants on. But you can wear the dress over it if you just put the snow pants on." There are other ridiculous things. Like "Please don't put Aidan's sock in your yogurt." She tinkers with things, constantly in things and messing around with them. She is the kid that draws on your walls with marker. She is the kid that sticks cheerios in her ear. She is the kid that immediately after telling her not to touch something she does. And she finds a way to get our attention.

I'm trying to guide both kids using their interests and strengths but it is hard sometimes. Tenley's characters have changed from just Disney princesses to real life heroines like Amelia Earhart and Frida Kahlo. Aidan's Pokemon craze pushes him to learn bigger words than he would be ready for like "earth" and "psychic". He practices his math skills constantly but also his assertiveness skills, especially when a friend wants to swap a card of his that he doesn't want to.

I wonder if I'm doing enough for them. Yet, I know that there is no perfect parenting and I certainly give them a lot. I'm sure they will talk about me in their therapy and I certainly hope they do. 

Splash park

Liz took her life in her own hands - and her camera's - the other week by taking her kids and Aidan to the splash park in Middleton. Looks like they had a great time.

The water's pretty cold.

Isn't it, Sophie?

"Nah," says Allie.

That's warmer.

"Was this built for three?" say Sophie and Aidy.  "Who cares?" says Allie.

Week two highlights

On Monday we went for a check-up at the doctor.  She wanted to check Tenley's weight, which was up to 7 pounds 13 ounces, more than her birth weight. Well done Tenley and well done mummy.

Mummy and Tenley

Aidy- Pre-haircut

Amelia

Best friends. Unless they're not.

Grandma and Tenley

And with Frankie.

Char, Roby, Amelia and Frankie came down on Tuesday. It was bedlam. You'd think four adults could cope easily with four kids. Well, it was more difficult that we thought it would be. Good fun though.

Hiccups

Tenley's been practicing her hiccups. She got so good recently I think she can now stop. Aidy and Tenley both had hiccups while they were inside Erin. And Tenley has kept them up, especially when I sit down with her for some cuddle time.

She's pretty loud with them too.

We had a different kind of hiccup on Friday evening, too.

Since we came home from the hospital Erin would start the evening with Tenley, feeding every two hours or so and then around 3 a.m. I would take over trying to help Tenley sleep and stave off her hunger as long as possible, giving Erin a few hours to sleep on her own.

But Aidan developed a fever. We gave him some medication and he went to bed but a few hours later, just as Erin and I were ready to sleep, he was up, hot and uncomfortable.

We brought him downstairs for a while, put cold cloths on his head and feet, and soothed him.  A few episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine helped, too.

The plan changed and Erin took Tenley. I took Aidan. It was man-on-man defence. Thankfully, after cluster feeding from 9 p.m. - 12 a.m. Tenley slept for four hours. I kept an eye on Aidan. He woke up a few times but all in all it could have been a lot worse.

It made for a tired Saturday but recovery is happening.

First video

Here she is...

Eyes wide open

Up until now there have been no uploads of Tenley with open eyes, even though she has them open a lot. 

Just hold me

Remind you of anyone?

Gratuitous poop post

"There's always something to worry about with newborns, isn't there?" I said.

"Always, with your kids in general," replied Erin.

This was said with a sigh after we left the doctors this morning. We'd just been for Tenley's weigh-in and general check-up and all was well. The doctor gave the all clear this morning and relieved - in more ways than one - any concerns we had.

Tenley hadn't had a bowel movement in more than 36 hours and we were a little worried. Not least for our sense of smell. She'd been passing gas like she'd been eating baked beans wrapped in brussel sprouts. And the smell was eye-scorching but she had nothing to show for it. Whether we were making it up or not, I don't know, but she seemed to be uncomfortable during the night, too.

So that was the worry we took to the doctors with us.

With Aidan, there was a lot more to worry about - a traumatic birth, not nursing, jaundice and losing more than 12 percent of his birth weight in the first week. I guess that set us a little edgy for Tenley.

Anyway, the doctor looked her over, weighed her, smiled, gave her a rectal exam and the relief, literally, flowed out of her (It was like the doctor pressed a button). We were never happier to see a full stinky nappy.

The doctor said it was usual and after a few more questions and answers sent us on our merry way.

Tenley's first Thursday

Thursday was a day of rest for Tenley. She slept through most of it.  Maybe this counts for a fussy night.

Going...

Going...

Gone

Tenley - Day 2

Tenley had her first few visitors yesterday. 

First, was Aidan who's handling going from only child to big brother really well. He's offered Tenley his favorite pillow and dummy and he also keeps bringing her some of his toy pets and places them in her moses basket.

Having said this, he was asked what she's like yesterday, and he answered, "She cries and cries and cries." Also, when he was in the hospital room with us, his energy levels and volume seemed to multiply at the same time that our energy levels and tolerance decreased. He's been a bit more teary and needy than usual. But he seems to be handling being a big brother like the big boy he is.

Along with Aidan, came Erin's sister, Robyn, and her 8 week old son, Frankie. It was like little and large. That 8 weeks has gone a long way and I doubt Tenley will ever catch up to the stature of Frankie. But we'll see.

Then cam uncle Pat and Amelia. Matt and Liz brought their brood later in the day, and today we've seen Heather, our Doula, and her son Noah, as well as Angela, Tyler and their baby girl.

As well as people saying "isn't she a cutie" we're also getting, "Wow look at her hair." This takes into account all the heartburn Erin had during this and the last pregnancy. Apparently, there's been a recent study saying there's a link to the pain and the amount of hair a newborn comes out with. Aidan came out with lots of dark hair but Tenley has topped the boy.

Tenley is now sleeping a lot, eating a lot, loves being swaddled and hates being changed.

Don't you just love tiny wrinkles?

We left hospital around noon yesterday. All the tests she had to have were the right result and we were glad to get home.

Tenley Jane Waller

Tenley Jane Waller came into the world on Sunday night at 6:58, May 27, 2012.

She's beautiful.

We don't need to go into too much detail about the labor except that things went slow for a while, then got a little worrying when the contractions came - Tenley's heart-rate kept dropping - but after some great coaching from our doula and the nurses, Erin heroically turned things around and had a natural birth.

Here are some early shots:

A few moments after birth

Weighing in at 7 pounds 12 ounces

She's got him wrapped around her fingers 

Just let me sleep for a while

She has a loud cry, likes to eat, and is very alert when awake. She looks around at everyone. And I swear she smiled at me this morning.

Aidan at 3 and a half

Here's what Aidan's up to and saying at the moment:

We had a recent parent teacher conference at Aidan's daycare.  We were told that he is very much loved by his teachers and has quite a few good friends - Mckenna, Sophie, Brady and Jack.

He has his own words for things like 'sheener' for Machine. He loves looking at sheeners.

He also says things like, "I want to do it by own myself." (And he often wants to do things on his own, by himself at the moment).

He loves mopping and sweeping. He actually loves to have any 'job to-do' including being the 'line leader', 'door holder' and will pretty much do anything if you say you have a job for him.

He started using made up words, particularly in response to his mommy and daddy. 'Okay Teetee' or 'Hello Kaka'.

He's learned some bad words from school, too - pee and poo. He knows he shouldn't say them and when asked the other day if he'd said one of them, he answered, "No, daddy. I don't say pee-pee, poo-poo, or you shud-uppa-your-face."

He loves to sing, especially to CDs in the car. His favorite that he knows all of the words to - after one time listening is called 'Cars and Trucks.' It's fitting. He loves chasing tucks on the way to school, especially when he and daddy have been sneeky and taken mummy's car - he thinks that's very funny.

He also has a collection of 'friends' which include 4 kittens - Guli, Andran, Trinity and Uza. Petty and Jacob were the original ones. They're dogs. He also a deer who sometimes gets called a giraffe.

Olbrich Gardens

It's Memorial Day Weekend and Pat, Roby and the family are over so yesterday we took a trip round the corner to Olbrich Gardens.

Amelia spots the water

Shall we splash your daddy or my daddy?

Olbrich what?

What's in there?

Come back!

An afternoon with the McFarland clan

We went to play with Aidan's cousins last weekend. With a cook-out, races, a paddling pool and lots of smiles.

Happy Mother's Day

For Mother's Day, Aidan and I bought Erin a news lens. Here are some photos from recent shoots.

Daddy's little helper

Aidan told me the other the day that what he really loved about me was, "working with you, daddy."

I asked him what he meant and he said, "You know, with tools and in the garden."

Every little helps

Left a bit, right a bit.

He also loves weeding. Well, he loves putting all the leaves in the wheel barrow, taking it over to the pile. Glad he does. It saves my back.

Fred and Caz come to town

Fred and Caz visited the other week. It was a full weekend as my Facebook status showed:

Landmark 1850 - Spotted Cow, burgers, Milwaukee drive-by tour, farmer's market - cheese curds, spicy cheese bread, morels, gourds, 3 shot coffee, cinnamon rolls, Capitol roof top view of Madison, home for lunch - brats and salad, the Union Terrace - Ice cream, a Major Tom, Gala event at the Capitol, Malt House, Mickey's Dairy Bar, Olbrich Gardens, then a lazy rainy afternoon. Good times ... we saved the deep fried cheese curds for next time.

No, you're not supposed to keep all that spicy cheese bread all for yourself, Fred

Thumbs up for picnic point - that's you too, Aidan

Fred and Caz mixing with Madison's finest

A fun night

The double pancake challenge

Easy!

Welcome to the Family Frankie

Franklyn - Frankie - Higgins was born to Pat and Robyn a few weeks ago.

A family portrait

It's not that bad, Frankie

The older kids take looking after to Frankie very seriously

Get the @£$% to sleep

At the moment, I can see why this book was written. Aidan's been pretty good at going upstairs and going to sleep.  We have a routine. We brush his teeth, (maybe run around the living room and the dining room for a little bit), run upstairs, read two books, make up two stories and then he puts himself to sleep after around 5- 10 minutes or so.

But recently, after we've said goodnight and gone downstairs, he's been getting out of bed and caling for mummy, daddy or mummydaddy.

He stands at the top of the stars and usually says a one liner. Here are a few:

"I need more milk."

"Where's Peti and Jacob?" (His stuffed dogs - they are usually next to his pillow when we go back to his bed)

"Is it really bedtime?"

"It's not dark yet.  It's nearly dark but not dark, yet."

Playing with his fingers, "I can't do a heart shape."

"Is everybody asleep?"

"Where's my London friend Evan?"

"Have you got big feet and I've got little feet?"

"Where's the moon tonight?"

"I'm not going to sleep, yet. Going to wait to see my baby sister." (She's not due for 8 weeks).

Easter morning

Erin and Aidan spent Easter weekend visiting Roby, Pat, Amelia and their new addition, Frankie.

The bunny has delivered

What's at the door?

Can't contain the excitement